Relationships are complicated. One day we’re madly in love and happy, the next we’re considering a breakup.
You want to break up but then your partner looks at you that certain way and you’re head over heels again.
When your feelings are all over the place and you don’t know whether to stay or go, making the decision to end a relationship can be very difficult.
And sometimes it’s actually simpler than we make it. Sometimes the reason is there in front of our face and we just need to acknowledge it.
Consider these reasons for ending a relationship.
1. You aren’t happy and haven’t been for a while
Relationships have phases. There are ups and downs. You’ll go through periods where it feels boring, stale, unhappy, and maybe even bad. But in a healthy, good relationship, we can recognize that these are phases that happen and work through them.
But what if you’re unhappy and it’s not changing? There’s a passing phase of unhappiness and then there’s being truly unhappy. If you feel like you’re truly unhappy, it’s a reason to leave.
2. The relationship (or your partner) makes you feel bad about yourself
If your relationship or your partner makes you feel insecure, unworthy, insignificant, or otherwise bad about yourself, it’s a reason to leave.
A partner and the relationship we have with them should lift you up. It should make you feel good, happy, confident, and worthy.
3. Communication is bad or missing altogether
Do you feel like trying to talk to your partner is like beating your head against a brick wall? Do you feel like they constantly misunderstand everything you say (or vice versa) or you’re always arguing? Do you feel like there’s nothing for you to talk about?
Communication is a critical component of any relationship. If it’s bad or completely missing, the relationship is going to suffer.
4. Your partner isn’t emotionally healthy
Does your partner act paranoid or suspicious? Are they self-absorbed? Do they get angry really easily? Manipulate you to get what they want? These are signs of being emotionally unhealthy.
A solid relationship is based on two emotionally healthy people coming together. If one of you isn’t emotionally healthy, the relationship will struggle.
5. There are more reasons to go than to stay
No relationship is perfect. Even in the best relationships, each partner could tell you a few drawbacks to being in that relationship. But they stay because there are more benefits than drawbacks.
If you look at your reasons to stay and to go, and realize there are more reasons to end it than to stay, that’s a sure sign you should walk away. When there are more reasons to dislike your partner or the relationship, things will just get worse if you stay.