When you and your partner live in different cities (or even countries), you might spend most of your energy trying to build a quality connection with each other across the miles.
But a number of subtle mistakes that long-distance partners make might not be the ones you expect, but could be powerful enough to lead to a breakup.
Instead of addressing issues with communication or reoccurring fights that you’re having, you might write these problems off as what just comes with the territory when you’re in a long-distance relationship.
But it’s crucial not to let issues in your relationship slide if you’re planning on being reunited in person. “It may be tempting to think that although you are unsatisfied now, once you’re no longer apart, everything will be absolutely perfect in your relationship,”
Here are some subtle mistakes that people can make in a long-distance relationship.
1. Doubting the legitimacy of the relationship
If the people in your life are suggesting that your long-term relationship isn’t as valid or as “real” as it would be if your partner lived in your city, it can be easy to let their opinions affect the way you see your own relationship. Even if your partner is far away, your bond with them can be as deep and true as any other couple’s connection.
2. Trying to resolve fights late at night
If you’ve ever asked older couples what their best advice is, you’ve probably heard “don’t go to bed angry” over and over again. While this saying might be helpful in some situations, it’s certainly not a rule to live by, especially if you’re in a long-distance relationship.
3. Trying to talk all the time
It’s definitely good to stay connected with your partner throughout the week, when you’re in a long-distance relationship, you can sometimes accidentally overdo it, which can actually create problems. If the relationship is committed and healthy, you shouldn’t feel the need to stay constantly in touch.
4. Not asking for attention when you need it
We often think that our partners should automatically know that we want them to make more time for us. “However, all too often we fail to pick up on the signals.” While it’s not wise to talk with your partner constantly, communication is definitely vital for a healthy long-distance relationship, so if you don’t ask for attention when you need it, the relationship might deteriorate.
5. Not scheduling fun virtual dates
When you’re in an in-person relationship, you get to build plenty of fun memories with your partner by doing things like going to the opening night showing of a movie, cooking dinner together, or playing board games Long distance makes it more challenging but watching movies, having dinner together, or video chatting while doing the same activity can increase emotional intimacy.