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How to let go of the past after a breakup

It’s been six months and you can remember the day you met like it was yesterday. You don’t understand why you are still hung up on the past yet they say time is a healer. You have tried everything and nothing seems to work.

It just doesn’t make sense why you are holding on to the pain and suffering you went through. True, it may not last forever but you can’t stop checking your phone every five minutes hoping their will be a text from your ex.

Once you come to the painful realization that it is really over, you come face to face with the reality that letting go is not as easy as they depict in movies.

It hurts and you don’t know how to move on. Well, it is about time you took that bold step, and here are some of the things that can help you do just that.

1. Accept

After holding on to the negative emotions that have done nothing but hurt you and hold you back from living your life, you must make a conscious decision to move on.

No matter how much time and effort you had invested in that person and the relationship, accept the outcome. Good or bad. Pick up your pieces, learn from your mistakes and leave the past where it should be, behind you.

2. Forgive yourself

The reason you broke up may have been your fault but that shouldn’t give you the opportunity to be hard on yourself. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes.

If you find yourself struggling with anger and disappointment due to what they did to you or what you did to them, find a way to apologize, console and forgive. Dwelling on the past will make things worse.

3. Find some distractions

If nothing seems to stop you from going back to what happened, find a worthy distraction. This is not the time to cancel brunch dates with your friends and family.

Avail yourself for every social activity out there that piques your interest, find new hobbies, sign up for a new class and soon you will be having so much fun learning and meeting new people. The new experiences will slowly start to replace the past trauma.

4. Admit you did your best

If you genuinely did your best to make your relationship work, that should be enough motivation and a sign that you should let go of something that wasn’t meant to be. If it was, the two of you would have still been together.

Acknowledge your efforts, learn from it and strive to do better in your next relationship.

5. Seek help

Sometimes it is important to admit that we need professional help to get over some obstacles in life. Moving on from a breakup or divorce is not easy.

Despite the stigma that surrounds talking to a therapist, this may be the best decision you ever made to voice your pain to someone who can help you get over the issue and give you a fresh outlook.

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